How to Play Hard to Get and Attract the Person You Love

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By David

You love someone, but you do not know how to get his/her attention. Well, playing hard to get is one of the strategies you can use. But is there a way to do it, without acting like a teenager? Nobody likes a teenager. They lack confidence. So, how to play hard to get? And how to do it in a mature way?

Well, today, we will try to help you play the game of love. You can get anyone’s attention with the right strategy. But we have to point, the same strategy doesn’t work for everyone. For example, it is one thing how to play hard to get with a guy. And you need a different strategy for how to play hard to get with a girl.

There is some research on the topic. But we will not bore you with that. Simply put, studies try to explore how playing hard to get works on social influence principles. You need to know when it is the best time to play hard to get. Teasing someone the right way will increase his/her desire.

But, with all the research, there are still questions. For example, why do people play hard to get it? Do they get what they want? Does it work on all types of relationships? And how to play hard to get the right way?

Should You Play Hard to Get?

Playing hard to get can deliver mixed results. Sometimes, you might get what you desire. But sometimes, you might ruin your current communication and relationship with the person.

The approach is a trade-off between desire and frustration. You pull the partner towards you and then pull him away. Teasing tactics of hot and cold do not always work. The most important thing is to find the right balance.

If you want to perfect the method, you can try it online. How to play hard to get online is the same as in real life. You just try it online with people you do not know and care about. Practice makes perfect. When you are ready, try the tactic on someone desirable and a relationship partner. You can also use the strategy to test your partner’s level of interest and commitment.

At the end of the day, only you know whether you should or not play hard to get. Remember, you are not 20 anymore. These games might not be for you. Do not apply the same methods as teenagers do.

So, if there is someone you want to get, there are a few ways you can do it. Subtle things get the most attention, not splashy things.

Tips on How to Play Hard to Get

Give attention, but not the one he/she wants

People have limits on how much they can handle. But they also have a minimum. You need to get into your crush’s head and figure out the amount of attention you can give.

You cross that limit when he/she no longer feels he needs to work for your attention. But remember, you do not want your crush to work for your attention all the time. This might become tiresome and boring.

Give him just the right attention. Remember, it is the attention he needs, but not the one he wants.

Put some effort, but make him work

We all want effort on the other side. That applies to you and your crush. So, if you want to play hard to get, make him work for you. But put some effort into the relationship as well. Do not put him/her on the toes all the time.

The trick is to put effort, but make the other side think you are giving your best. Just a nice bit of tension will keep things exciting. Playing hard to get is a game. Two people play it. And you want the other side to work, but make him work for him as well. Sounds confusing? Well, it is.

Hang in a casual way

Sometimes, men do not have the courage to ask you out. The same can apply to women as well. You need to build his/her courage up. Ask them to hang out in a casual way. For example, you can say, “Would you like to grab something to eat”? Or, do you want to go see a play or a movie this weekend?

The trick is to avoid the word “date” in your question.

Make him wait for sex

Let’s talk about how to play hard to get in a relationship. By now, you probably know how to use your genitals. But do not freak on. Yes, sex is great, and even better when you love someone.

But you do not want to get into it instantly. You shouldn’t wait too long as well. Waiting too long can kill you. And make him quit. Anticipation can be a relationship killer.

Give it some time. You want to get to know each other. Just remember, sex should never be a routine. It should be spontaneous. Do not think like we are going out on a dinner, and we should have sex afterward. Routines become boring. Always!

Open the window, but do not let him instantly

You want to open the window for a relationship. But do not let him/her jump through immediately. Be careful who you let in.

Show your crush just one card at a time. Playing with open cards might be great. But not everyone can handle your openness. If you open up all your cards, your crush might run away. There is no satisfaction in getting something instantly.

Take your time. Do not rush the process.

Let him/her go for the kiss

The first kiss a special moment for the relationship. You want to make sure you are into your crush physically. You can do that by accidentally brushing against him/her, or touching your lips while talking. But the most important thing is to let him go for the kiss.

You want your crush to think the kiss was his/her idea. And if you are not into them, go for a hug. Your crush will take the hint.

Work the room at a party

One of the best ways for how to play hard to get is to be outgoing. When you are at a party with your crush, do not stay close to him. Work the room. Talk with others. This applies when you are in a relationship as well.

Now, you should not ignore your crush. Or flirt with others just to make him/her jealous. This can backfire. But if you want to know how to drive him crazy, work the room at a party.

Tips to Be Successful

Playing hard to get is not an easy task. You might fall into temptation. So, we have some tips for you to succeed in your game.

  • Leave your phone at home or on silent. This can help you avoid the temptation to call him when you are busy or out with friends. When you come back, you can see whether he/she texted or not
  • Spend time doing things you love to take your mind off your crush. Plan to see friends or family. The more you spend time with others, the less you will be desperate to call your crush
  • Tell your crush you want to see them again after the first date, just to keep their attention. This will also signal the date went well. You can do this after the date by sending a message, I had a great time, we should do this again
  • Try some hobbies, it is fulfilling and takes your mind out of the relationship. Hobbies also make for a great dating idea
  • Exercise for 30 minutes per day to release endorphins. The hormone of happiness will boost your physical and mental health, but also give you confidence
  • Think about why are you such a great catch. The best way to play hard to get is to focus on the things that make you hard to get. This way, you can go into the date full of confidence